All up in my grill

So I bought a grill recently. It is one of those Weber kettle grills. You know, the classic egg-shaped grill. I've wanted a grill for quite a while, but never bought one for fear that owning one would mean having to move it (and I move often). The desire for fire finally won out.

The exact moment my impulse to grill struck me is somewhat significant, from a narrative perspective. It was near sunset, and I had to grill. With unwavering purpose I sped off to Walmart where I quickly assessed the selection of grills and made my decision. I then spent no fewer than 10 minutes comparing charcoal brands. I opted for the wood charcoal (which burns faster and hotter), picked up some lighter fluid, grabbed some grilling utensils and headed out. I was losing light fast. As soon as I walked in the door, I opened the box and assembled the grill. This procedure was completed in 15 minutes, 30 minutes quicker than the instructions anticipate.

Grilling Adventure 1 (Chicken thighs)

Once assembled, I put a small amount of charcoal in the grill, a ton of lighter fluid and set 'er ablaze. Fire went out. Repeat. Fire out. The damn thing would not light. Finally I got the thing going. By this time it was dusk and quickly getting dark. The coals were just barely going, but I was hungry, so I threw the chicken on anyway and closed the lid (vents open).

45 minutes later...

Coals are barely going still. I would later figure out that opening the lower vents would help not only to get the thing lighted, but to keep it aflame.The chicken is still not done. I resign. Chicken comes off the grill to be finished on the stove. Grill 1, Me 0.

Grilling Adventure 2 (Lamb chunks)

A couple days later I decide to give it another go. After trimming a leg of lamb to make Georgian mcvadi, I was left with some lamb scraps. Not to repeat my previous mistake, I opened all the vents and filled the kettle with charcoal. I lighted it using 4 or 5 pages of crumpled up CV, and a ton of lighter fluid. The smoke probably could have been seen miles away. Once the smoke subsided and the coal began to do their thing, it became clear that I had used too much charcoal. I figured this out when I could not even approach the grill because it was giving off so much heat.

30 minutes later...

The grill is finally approachable. Lamb turns out delicious. I've grilled twice since this event and I'm still using the left over coals.

In the end, I bested the grill, tamed its inferno, and became a man–a man with a spatula in one hand and sizzling plate of chargrilled meat in the other.