There's nothing in my trunk

For the past month and a half my life has basically consisted of waking up at noon, watching the food network, and playing Grand Theft Auto 4. It is not exactly what I'd call a meaningful existence, though my GTA 4 sniper skills have improved markedly. The high points of my time in Florida have been finishing a paper that will be published in early 2009, seeing Saw III (and, by implication, Bahar Soomekh in a mind-blowing role which smashed my face). For the last two nights Sebastian has awakened me roughly every two hours to take him out. Not fun. Oddly, beginning the night after he spent the day at the vet/groomer, he began suffering from a particularly annoying intestinal ailment.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. On Thursday I head up to Saratoga Springs, NY to reunite with friends and teach for 3 weeks.

Recent thought: the coolness of the resurgent knitting craze and roller derby is lost on me.

Dear White Bulldog

Like a fighting bull from Hell, you came barreling out of your garage towards Sebastian and me on our evening walk. Probably because you noticed that my meat would be acrid and metallic, you went for the sweet meat of Sebastian. You got a couple good bites in, but your fate was sealed when later I returned to the house to make sure you were OK and your shots were up to date. Your master, who refused to have a civilized conversation with me, was combative and no less aggressive than you (though he didn't bite my leg). For his obstinacy, you can expect a visit from Animal Control tomorrow who will inevitably write your bulldog of a master a $50 ticket for violating the county leash law. I hope you are prepared to produce shot records as well. By the way, it'd be to your interest if you have had no prior convictions because after the third complaint, you go big nappy time. You mess with the bull, you get the horns; you mess with Basty, you get a world of hurt (or at least a $50 ticket).

The Virtues of Brother Hood

Because I think it probably goes unnoticed too often, I feel compelled to acknowledge the generosity and good nature of my brother, Josh. Without him, I could not have made my trip to the Netherlands because of my parental obligations; however, he agreed to watch my canine companion, Sebastian. Once I returned to the US, he let me take up residence in his apartment for over a month. When I had to go to PA for a job interview, he did not hesitate to take care of Sebastian on short notice. He does the dishes after every meal and is very considerate; for example, once I had the television on and I noticed him unplugging the Xbox to take it to his room. when I asked him what he was doing, he mentioned that he saw that I was watching television (though actually I was just surfing the internet) and did not want to disturb my apparent television-watching. How considerate is that?! For those who don't know, my brother and I had a rough patch that lasted basically from his birth until very recently. I don't think we were that fond of each other for a long time. Little did I know that there was a great guy lurking there. He probably thinks of me as an inconvenience because of my constant needing for him to help with Sebastian, but I think he's a pretty great guy.

The Latest Greatest Thing

Today I officially submitted the dissertation and printed out EIGHT copies of the 205 page document. Matt was kind enough to donate some of his print quota to the cause, and IU mistakenly gave me a summer print allotment, all of which I used. That's 1640 pages. And guess what, after spending nearly and hour printing out all this, I found out that it was all wasted. Earlier in the day when I was formatting the document for submission and making minor revisions, I had to delete the bibliography because Endnote is the worst program in the world and lets you basically do nothing to your document without screwing it up in some way or another. In a feat of virtual jerry-rigging I got everything set, or so I thought. Little did I know that Word, under the influence of the nefarious Endnote program, overwrote my section preferences so that the pagination was totally screwed up. I didn't notice this until after all the printing was done (who would have thought to check that, of all things?) and I had HAND COLLATED 3/4 of the dissertation 5 times (also took about 45 minutes, which was wasted). So I had to go back and fix the document and resubmit it to the Graduate School online. Tomorrow I have to print out a fixed copy and pay to have it copied 7 times since my print quota is gone and Matt can't afford to spare 200 pages. I'll also have to find a way to reimburse Matt for the 430 wasted pages (because I feel terrible about it) of his print quota. I also fear that IU will charge me for their mistake in giving me a summer print allotment when I'm graduating in the Spring.

Of course, I would not have had to print out all these copies if the bindery accepted electronic copies of the dissertation; however, when I called and asked if they'd accept pdf's, the lady responded "I'm not familiar with that technology, and we don't do any copy services." First, what idiot who is in the printing business or has ever seen a computer is NOT familiar with pdf format? Second, why hasn't the only bindery in a college town caught on to what is not even that recent of technology, especially in the age where dissertations are submitted online in pdf format? I'm amazed that there is not another bindery in town that can do this. I have a headache.

And don't even get me started on the hassle that my move to Lewisburg, PA is causing me. It never ends. But I guess I knew that there'd be some bullshit that would come up here at the very end that would complicate everything.

More

Hours behind schedule, the car is finally tinted, cleaned, and ready to drive away, though first the dealer, Jamar (unrelated to my property management company in Bloomington by the same name), had to show me how to operate this technological terror.

The dealer and I. Navigation tutorial. A Ph.D. leaves one yet ill-equipped to figure out how to use the supremely complex navigation device.


Testing out the Bose sound system with a little t.A.T.u. (200 Po Vstrechnoi).
Turns out that the dealership screwed up and accidentally gave me a free technology package (navigation, voice operation, 6-disc changer, back-up camera) and fog lights.

And the meal I cooked the other night: dijon super lump crab cakes and jumbo French escargot on baguette with gruyere and garlic infused butter. There's some asparagus there too.

My new car

Yesterday I bought this.

Me Ar Mivdivar Sakartveloshi

Well, regretfully, plans to go to Georgia in May have fallen through. Tyson and I hope to go in August instead, but I don't know what my schedule will be like in August yet. Sucks.