Basty, you stand accused of the following crimes:
1. having breath that smells like something that should not be
2. several acute neuroses including, but not limited to,
a. fear of hot air balloons
b. fear of the oven door
c. fear of the vaccum cleaner
d. generalized paranoia
e. some strange perversion that requires that you sniff every stranger's crotch
f. severe aversion to cleanliness
g. coprophagia (esp. as pertains to bunnies)
3. being extremely unportable.
4. 3 counts of walking into my room when you hear my alarm go off in morning, farting, and then leaving the bedroom (it isn't funny anymore).
For these and other crimes I am sentencing you to 10 days in jail beginning November 17 and ending November 27. Conveniently the execution of this sentence coincides perfectly with the time I will be in Amsterdam doing research. I've spoken to Jeff, the warden at Hacker's Creek Penitentiary, and he'll see to it you get your meds and whatnot. I will pick you up after you have served your sentence. Please do not join any gangs, get any tattoos, or get killed. Watch your back especially when in the shower. Keep your head down and your thoughts to yourself, and you should be safe. Reflect on your life and the things you've done.
Ok, now let's go for a walk.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
3 counts of walking into my room when you hear my alarm go off in morning, farting, and then leaving the bedroom (it isn't funny anymore).
haha that funny
Hahahaha. Nice.
I mean your writing, not putting your dog in jail.
Post a Comment