Not funny, Basty

Today I found this picture on the internet with the following letter below:

Dear Daddy #1 (or #2)

We have your beloved Basty. If you want to see or smell him alive again, you will send 170 jars of peanut butter, 3 bunnies, and 5...monies to the following address

Florida Apartment
Florida, USA

Failure to comply will result in many baths and scary times and other unpleasantness. You are a bad daddy, number 1.

P.S. I...I mean Basty stinks.

First, Sebastian, I just want to say that this is not funny. Aside from what excessive peanut butter does to your teeth (and, hence, breath), and your overall incompetence in dealing with small furry critters (which only you refer to as 'bunnies'), the attempted ruse is in poor taste. Last time I checked, extortion was still a crime. Why can't you just send me a nice email to tell me how you are in your subtropical paradise? Not even a 'hello' from you in the past month. At least you haven't forgotten about me altogether. Anyway, you need to mind Temprorary Daddy #3 and stay off his computer.