However, one of my favorite things is one of my few selfish rituals I have here. I love stopping by one of the neighborhood bakeries on my way home from work every day to pick up fresh bread to go with dinner. I also got some unpasturized French cheese that I can't wait to dig into.
Who needs friends when you have a fresh loaf of bread?
Me: Hello, Mr. Bread, how are you?
MB: Hi there B, how was your day at work?
Me: Oh, Mr. Bread, you know...same as always, just trying to make the world a better place for Basty.
MB: Well, sir, what will you do tonight? I noticed that yesterday you took the tiny Baguette Twins home. Are they around? Perhaps we could all watch television and recount the events of the day.
Me: I'm afraid the Baguette Twins are not around tonight.
MB: Oh yeah?
Me: 'Fraid so.
MB: Hey, I read on Facebook that you were wanting to go see "Control" this weekend at The Movies down the street.
Me: Yup.
MB: Perhaps we could go together! I love Joy Division.
Me: I'm afraid I have other plans for you, Mr. Bread.
MB: Oh yeah! Fun! What's that?
Me: I'm going to smear unpasturized goat cheese on you and...
MB: Oh wow! You read my very thoughts, B! Let's put on some Barry White and get down to business!
Me: and eat you like the stinking loaf you are!
MB: Oh no! :( But why?! I thought you were adopting me...oh no! The Twins! What Have you done with the twins? You sick bastard!
B: First I put them in the microwave to make them nice and chewy...
MB: Oh god...
B: and then I gobbled them up!
MB: B, what are you doing? Put me down! Oh no! My spleen! You've eaten my spleen! Oh jesus, I'm getting woozy. World fading...can't keep...my eyes...OH GOD! YOU"VE EATEN MY HEEL!!!! Oh please help me! Please, anyone? I know you all speak English out there! Fading...fading...oh what a world, what a world.
1 comment:
ha ha that funny
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